Gloopy Vareets For Getting Rid of Molody Lewdies
June 19th 2008 04:38
People who see both sides of the argument are frequently ignored. In a battle of black vs white, grey gets no air time because grey is not interesting, except for when it signifies a Middle Earth wizard who has come to steal your jewelry. If you're someone who frequently sees the merits of opposing ideas, then stay out of the way of those who have passion, for they will shout louder than you and will knock you over in the process.
There is another category, mind you. Someone who is not passionately arguing one point of view, nor is diplomatically balancing the two. That is the person who sees no merit in either side, and will happily explain, in long and deceptively insulting words, why everybody else is stupid. This person will be noticed, for their argument is so unexpected, so free of ulterior motive, that everybody else will be caught off guard. They're not trying to force their point of view, nor are they trying to placate or diffuse. Everybody will stop and pay attention to this person, struck by the sudden fear of being out-cyniced.
I'm frequently fascinated by these people, for I am so rarely one of them. Usually, I'm that most-despised of the above archetypes, the reasoned one who sees all angles. Only occasionally do I get to be the guy who thinks that both sides of a given battle are full of utter garbage.
This is one of those times.
When a local council announced its groundbreaking plan (which was, actually, a plan that had been tried and tested by other councils, so not really all that groundbreaking), I was a little dumbstruck. Everybody's used to it by now, but when the original idea of dispersing "undesirables" and "loitering delinquents" from the public places they would traditionally congregate, and doing so by pumping classical music out of speakers, it seemed like a scene from a social commentary-filled SF movie set in that oft-fabled not-too-distant-future.
The council was, in my mind, full of idiots who were using cultural snobbery (instead of actual culture) as a weapon (instead of actual weapons). This idea was no doubt concocted by people who would, themselves, never be caught dead listening to classical music. Surely, anyone who has actually listened to Schubert's Unfinished Symphony, Brahms's Hungarian Dances, or Grieg's Piano Concerto in A Minor (Op. 16) would never actually consider these pieces to be so abhorrent that they'd be ideal as musical water cannons. I don't care if the idea stems from a basic low opinion of people who stand around outside of train stations, you can't even come up with such an idea without also having a basic low opinion of the music you're planning to use.
My contempt for those people was matched only by my contempt for the actual undesirables and loitering delinquents, who eventually did what was expected of them, and dispersed once the music began playing. Congratulations, guys! You've not only shut yourself off from something you might have, with a bit of exposure, enjoyed, but you've also confirmed everything everybody always suspected about you. Nobody respects anyone who lives up to their own stereotype.
I couldn't understand it. What, dealing heroin at 3am means you can't appreciate a bit of Mozart? There's nothing mutually exclusive about it, as far as I can tell. One lifestyle gives you a dizzying, mind-blowing, incomparable high, and the other requires you to check into a methadone clinic for rehabilitation (sorry, not telling which does which). Why do they have to go hand-in-hand? Is the only thing more awful than a small-minded cultural stereotype the frightening reality that most of them may actually be true?
It could, as always, be worse. Imagine these kids actually stayed where they were and got into the music, developing a creepy appreciation for the works of Beethoven, Saint-Saens and Bach. Suddenly, they're dressing in white, drinking milk, and speaking in nadsat, and now we have a Stanley Kubrick film coming to life before our very eyes. And not one of the fun ones with pathological computers or Sydney Pollack-fuelled orgies, but the frightening ones that ruin Gene Kelly musicals and go about in cycles.
So excuse me if I begin a petition to replace speakers with actual remote controlled water cannons, because despite the threat to personal safety and possibility for physical harm, it's a damn sight preferable to sullying the legacy of the greats.
There is another category, mind you. Someone who is not passionately arguing one point of view, nor is diplomatically balancing the two. That is the person who sees no merit in either side, and will happily explain, in long and deceptively insulting words, why everybody else is stupid. This person will be noticed, for their argument is so unexpected, so free of ulterior motive, that everybody else will be caught off guard. They're not trying to force their point of view, nor are they trying to placate or diffuse. Everybody will stop and pay attention to this person, struck by the sudden fear of being out-cyniced.
I'm frequently fascinated by these people, for I am so rarely one of them. Usually, I'm that most-despised of the above archetypes, the reasoned one who sees all angles. Only occasionally do I get to be the guy who thinks that both sides of a given battle are full of utter garbage.
This is one of those times.
When a local council announced its groundbreaking plan (which was, actually, a plan that had been tried and tested by other councils, so not really all that groundbreaking), I was a little dumbstruck. Everybody's used to it by now, but when the original idea of dispersing "undesirables" and "loitering delinquents" from the public places they would traditionally congregate, and doing so by pumping classical music out of speakers, it seemed like a scene from a social commentary-filled SF movie set in that oft-fabled not-too-distant-future.
The council was, in my mind, full of idiots who were using cultural snobbery (instead of actual culture) as a weapon (instead of actual weapons). This idea was no doubt concocted by people who would, themselves, never be caught dead listening to classical music. Surely, anyone who has actually listened to Schubert's Unfinished Symphony, Brahms's Hungarian Dances, or Grieg's Piano Concerto in A Minor (Op. 16) would never actually consider these pieces to be so abhorrent that they'd be ideal as musical water cannons. I don't care if the idea stems from a basic low opinion of people who stand around outside of train stations, you can't even come up with such an idea without also having a basic low opinion of the music you're planning to use.
My contempt for those people was matched only by my contempt for the actual undesirables and loitering delinquents, who eventually did what was expected of them, and dispersed once the music began playing. Congratulations, guys! You've not only shut yourself off from something you might have, with a bit of exposure, enjoyed, but you've also confirmed everything everybody always suspected about you. Nobody respects anyone who lives up to their own stereotype.
I couldn't understand it. What, dealing heroin at 3am means you can't appreciate a bit of Mozart? There's nothing mutually exclusive about it, as far as I can tell. One lifestyle gives you a dizzying, mind-blowing, incomparable high, and the other requires you to check into a methadone clinic for rehabilitation (sorry, not telling which does which). Why do they have to go hand-in-hand? Is the only thing more awful than a small-minded cultural stereotype the frightening reality that most of them may actually be true?
It could, as always, be worse. Imagine these kids actually stayed where they were and got into the music, developing a creepy appreciation for the works of Beethoven, Saint-Saens and Bach. Suddenly, they're dressing in white, drinking milk, and speaking in nadsat, and now we have a Stanley Kubrick film coming to life before our very eyes. And not one of the fun ones with pathological computers or Sydney Pollack-fuelled orgies, but the frightening ones that ruin Gene Kelly musicals and go about in cycles.
So excuse me if I begin a petition to replace speakers with actual remote controlled water cannons, because despite the threat to personal safety and possibility for physical harm, it's a damn sight preferable to sullying the legacy of the greats.
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