http://www.procrasturbating.com/ Procrasturbating en Fri, 22 Aug 2008 09:10:00 GMT Fri, 22 Aug 2008 09:10:00 GMT info@procrasturbating.com info@procrasturbating.com http://www.procrasturbating.com/images/procrasturbating-copy.jpg http://www.procrasturbating.com/ http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-long-dark-teatime-of-my-soul/ My kettle is just about to boil. That's not a euphemism, despite the fact -- and this is a complete coincidence -- my "kettle" really is about to "boil". Such... http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-long-dark-teatime-of-my-soul/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-long-dark-teatime-of-my-soul/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 09:10:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-true-story-of-the-timetraveling-islands/ I find that nothing lifts the mood more than the impossible becoming possible. That is, the sudden discovery that something extraordinary and brilliantly impossible has just taken place. No doubt... http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-true-story-of-the-timetraveling-islands/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-true-story-of-the-timetraveling-islands/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 01:14:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/its-always-bellwether/ Things are irrefutable up to the point that they're no longer true. Not the most profound statement in the world, but one that will remain correct until it's not. I'm... http://www.procrasturbating.com/its-always-bellwether/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/its-always-bellwether/ Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:56:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-evil-that-men-dont/ I can't remember the exact details, but there was a court case in England when I was a teenager, where two kids stood accused of killing a four year old... http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-evil-that-men-dont/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-evil-that-men-dont/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 01:00:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/whats-in-a-name-i-can-never-remember/ A lot of people are walking around right now with the misconception that I don't know their name. I really like that description of them, because they sound as if... http://www.procrasturbating.com/whats-in-a-name-i-can-never-remember/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/whats-in-a-name-i-can-never-remember/ Tue, 08 Jul 2008 13:35:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/oh-i-wish-that-i-could-be-richard-cory/ If you had to be anyone else, any figure in history, anyone at all... who would it be? As hypotheticals go, this one is a lot more common that others... http://www.procrasturbating.com/oh-i-wish-that-i-could-be-richard-cory/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/oh-i-wish-that-i-could-be-richard-cory/ Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:42:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/gloopy-vareets-for-getting-rid-of-molody-lewdies/ People who see both sides of the argument are frequently ignored. In a battle of black vs white, grey gets no air time because grey is not interesting, except for... http://www.procrasturbating.com/gloopy-vareets-for-getting-rid-of-molody-lewdies/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/gloopy-vareets-for-getting-rid-of-molody-lewdies/ Thu, 19 Jun 2008 04:38:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/inanimate-news-day/ "The bombers," the news reporter told me, "stopped for petrol. Their eery images on this CCTV footage show them behaving (pause for dramatic effect) as if nothing is wrong." I... http://www.procrasturbating.com/inanimate-news-day/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/inanimate-news-day/ Tue, 10 Jun 2008 09:19:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-oddities-of-sign-language/ Taking an extended road trip is good for the soul, though not the environment. Or bank account. Or resale value of the car once your speedometer tops two hundred thousand... http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-oddities-of-sign-language/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/the-oddities-of-sign-language/ Mon, 02 Jun 2008 05:15:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/i-want-the-leaves-to-blow/ Is there any greater invention than the leaf blower? Honestly, it's my favourite of all the inventions. No other human-made device has, in my opinion, summed up our society with... http://www.procrasturbating.com/i-want-the-leaves-to-blow/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/i-want-the-leaves-to-blow/ Fri, 23 May 2008 10:51:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/celebraphilanthropy/ At the risk of alarming my readers, I'm starting to think we live in a fairly shallow and self-centered society. Oh, I grappled with starting this piece with that sentence... http://www.procrasturbating.com/celebraphilanthropy/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/celebraphilanthropy/ Sun, 11 May 2008 01:33:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/tastes-like-fear/ It's 1808 and Humphry Davy was trying to think of a name for a new metal he was attempting to electrolytically isolate. The element itself was called "alumina", and so... http://www.procrasturbating.com/tastes-like-fear/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/tastes-like-fear/ Fri, 02 May 2008 02:48:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/i-gratefully-acknowledge-the-traditional-author-of-this-piece/ I was at some event launch arts thing that was, like all event launch arts things, on at an incredibly inconvenient time in an incredibly inconvenient place, where all the... http://www.procrasturbating.com/i-gratefully-acknowledge-the-traditional-author-of-this-piece/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/i-gratefully-acknowledge-the-traditional-author-of-this-piece/ Fri, 25 Apr 2008 06:41:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/dinner-for-three/ If you could invite any three people from history to dinner, who would they be? Oh, that's easy. Jesus, Plato, and Bach. Slight problem: this is utter bullshit. You wouldn't... http://www.procrasturbating.com/dinner-for-three/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/dinner-for-three/ Sat, 12 Apr 2008 07:46:00 GMT http://www.procrasturbating.com/i-blame-you/ So, it's November 2007, and three hundred and seventy years of John Howard's reign comes to an end. Kevin Rudd is Australia's new Prime Minister-elect, and there is a certain... http://www.procrasturbating.com/i-blame-you/#comments http://www.procrasturbating.com/i-blame-you/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:30:00 GMT